march (cooking) madness! UPDATE

just wanted to fill you all in on the outcome of the spinach and mushroom lasagna. first, it was delicious. would i make some changes? perhaps. ok, yes. so here's what i would recommend doing differently:

1. add a little more sauce. you don't necessarily need it on every layer but i would have put more on the top layer.
2. i'd add some more spice. it was yummy but i like my food with a little kick so i'd have put some cayenne in there to turn up the heat.
3. i would, as i mentioned in the post, increase the mushroom mixture and perhaps just mix it in with the ricotta/spinach mixture and layer it in all at once. i think that might make the mixture more cohesive.

ok, those are my lessons learned. i will definitely be making this again. i also think this would be a yummy mix for stuffed shells or homemade ravioli!

march (cooking) madness!

so, the last few weeks i've been trying to live up to my new years resolution to try new recipes and cook more....that's right, no more $10 whole foods salads! with the exception of ordering sushi once a week, i am doing pretty well. god, i love sushi. but now since march madness has offically begun in my household, i decided it's time to get serious and really start cooking (don't get me wrong, i LOVE watching basketball on full blast on our tv and on our computers...oh yeah, and by love, i mean tolerate).

i recently found the show and book 'cook yourself thin' which takes traditional recipes and cuts down the calories by substituting different ingredients (e.g., cakes with no butter or oil that taste amazing and are 200 calories for a a lovely, not paper thin slice). i've made the apple spice cake and shockingly, it was good. too good. i practically ate the whole thing on my own. oops...how's that for portion size? but i realize that most of the world likes butter and oil. so you may not be quite ready for that recipe.

but who doesn't love lasagna?! here's my stab at the spinach and mushroom lasagna. i took some liberties with the recipe so we'll see how that works out (we're eating it tonight! surprise, honey, i made dinner!)

 the stars of the show - mushrooms! (i used cremini and baby bella) and spinach!

my addition: sun-dried tomatoes (not in oil version...hence looking like gross worms)

before and after...i know, based on the before, i wasn't too optimistic either but the after looks pretty good, right?

the aftermath...maybe my husband will do the dishes tonight

so here's the recipe. like i said, i didn't follow it to a tee. i added onions and sun-dried tomatoes to the mushroom mixture. oh and yes, i didn't read the directions and didn't alternate the layers with tomato sauce. yeah, we'll see how it tastes but i can tell you my house smells amazing from just the prep work (which took about 30 min.)

enjoy!

spinach and mushroom veggie lasagna

makes 12 servings (we'll see about that)

337 calories per serving

2 tablespoons of olive oil (i used 1)

1.5 pounds of cremini and/or shitake mushrooms (i recommend more!)

1 teaspoon dried thyme

pinch of kosher salt

1 15oz part skim ricotta (i eyeballed this)

3/4 cup skim milk

2 eggs (i used 1)

3 cups of shredded mozzarella (i used about 1.5 - 1 in the mixture and 0.5 on top)

3/4 cup grated parmesean

1 10 oz frozen spinach  (i used fresh spinach, about 3/4 of a package)

1/3 cup of fresh basil

1 teaspoon of dried oregano

pinch of ground pepper

5 cups of tomato sauce (i used about 1 - 0.5 for the bottom of the pan and 0.5 on the top layer...oops)

12 sheets of no-cook lasagna noodles

non-stick cooking spray

directions

1. preheat oven to 375
2. heat olive oil in skillet over medium heat. add mushrooms and thyme and season with salt (and pepper). cook until softened (about 10-12 minutes)
3. in medium bowl, combine ricotta, milk, eggs and stir. add 1 c of the mozzarella, the parm, spinach, basil, and oregano. season with salt/pepper.
4. spread 1 cup of tomato sauce on bottom of 9x13x2 pan. layer 4 sheets of lasagna, slightly overlapping. spread half the ricotta mixture on the noodles and cover with half the mushroom. mix. top with 1.5 c of tomato sauce. repeat with 4 layers. cover top layer with tomato sauce and remaining mozzarella.
5. lightly coat sheet of foil with cooking spray and cover uncooked lasagna. 
6. bake at 375 for 45 min
7. remove foil and increase oven temp to 475. cook until cheese browns (approx 12 min).
8. 8. let stand for 15 min before cutting. serve warm and garnish with basil.

hmmm...so after typing that, i realize that i probably should have actually read the directions myself prior to starting this. my layers don't have tomato sauce...just the top and bottom layers. i used less cheese, only 1 egg, and i didn't see the stray noodle in the box so my top layer only has 3 noodles. ahh, the joys of cooking...ok, enjoy!!

and this little piggy is feeling blue...

last week was painful. physically. no i wasn't overworked or overstressed. no no, none of that. you see, my little pinky toe was in physical pain. in fact, it was blue...and purple....and swollen. it was gross. to understand how i got here, we have to travel back to earlier this month when i went to ann taylor.

while at ann taylor, foolishly convincing myself that i needed more things to jam into my already stuffed sausage of a closet, i encountered these beauties:

va va va voom.

little did i know that these shoes were cursed (yes, CURSED!)...BUT gosh, they really are pretty, right?

at first, it was all love and rainbows with these shoes. they made my legs look miles long, they went with everything, and they're patent leather. i mean, who doesn't love a good patent heel? one day, while at work, i was returning from a meeting. it was late afternoon and most sane people had already left for the day. so i get to my floor and as i round the corner for my office, my heel catches in the forsaken carpet and splat! i fall literally on my face and my stack of papers goes flying. i mean, FLYING...EVERYWHERE. quickly, i scan the hall. no one saw (other than the security guard i'm sure. i wonder where they hide their cameras anyway). so next, i assess the damage -- one of my shoes is about 5 feet behind me (it flew off like it was trying to escape the crime scene), my tights are still intact (thank goodness for these small blessings) but my palms are red and slightly scraped and it feels like i broke both my kneecaps (but i can walk so clearly, nothing is broken). i gather my papers and my rogue shoe and scurry to my office. i get home, remove the tights only to find two enormous red-but-on-the-verge-of-purple bruises on each knee (how symmetrical). overnight, they transform to purple/black bruises. i temporarily retired the shoes.

but like any addict, i couldn't stay away long. a few weeks later, i was back in them...and walking very slowly. so i wore them a few days in a row..despite the throbbing that was now coming from my poor pinky toe. the little guy was screaming for mercy and, being cold and heartless, i ignored its pleas...until one day when i couldn't ignore it anymore. i took a look and found that my cute, scarred (i had surgery on the toe 7 years ago due to a pointy toe shoe incident) little baby toe had about tripled in size and was purple. immediately, i iced it, threw my patent shoes to the darkest corner of my closet, and prayed to the sweet lord above that the toe wouldn't fall off.

 i love you...i hate you...

i made an appt with the doctor and wore uggs everyday until then as penance (yes, even to work!)

ok quick sidenote since i mentioned it. now i'm pretty together when i go to work. and for this one week i wore black uggs with my outfits bc these pillow like, bear claw boots were the only ones that could comfortably accomodate the throbbing, swollen, angry monster that my pinky toe had become. one morning, as i was headed towards my office, i ran into my coworker who clearly gave me a complete once over followed by a look of disgust. yes, horror of horrors, i wore uggs to the office. BUT BUT BUT, i think when you yourself are wearing pants that are too short for you and white socks with black shoes (and you're a woman!!!), you shouldn't cast any stones (you know, given that you live in your glass and, clearly, fashionably challenged, house). ok, but i digress.

the doctor, who oddly reminds me of kirsten johnston (from 3rd rock from the sun fame), doesn't scold me for wearing high heels or try to convince me to wear orthopedics and care for my body. no no, instead she sings about how i have a big fat toe (i love her already) and we decide to shoot it up with some cortisone (YESSSSS! STEROIDS! LOVE IT!)  we decide that we're going to skip the anesthesia and just try to inject the toe with cortisone (i omitted some other gross details because,well, you would stop reading). so the nurse comes in and says, i think you might need to hold my hand. i'm like oh haha, that's sweet...meanwhile i'm clasping her hand and squeezing it for dear life.....all before the needle is even in my toe. ok, so needle in toe...skip ahead to cortisone injection and as the doctor switches the vial that is attached to the needle, the needle itself digs further into the toe at which point i SCREAM holy s! did i mention that this office is internal med + PEDIATRICS. i just imagine a little kid hearing me scream from the other side of the door. traumatic much? you're welcome for life, kiddo.

pre-coritisone shot

post-cortisone stabbing...i mean injection.

we wrap the toe and i'm back at the work. the past week, i've been elevating the toe, applying a heating pad, and wrapping it in its little cottonball/medical tape outfit. it's sad. my toe is still bruised but not longer swollen. no it just looks (and feels) defeated. and all for a pair of killer patent leather heels. hmmmmm, that reminds me...i wonder when i can wear them again???

...i love you...i miss you. this cautionary tale was lost on me.

couture for the soul

in the past week, mother nature has blanketed the washington dc area in mounds of snow. it was pretty for a minute but after being inside for the past 6 days, enough is enough. telecommuting has killed any joy this amount of snow could bring. while people are proclaiming snow days and the federal goverment has shut down, my days are spent with conference calls, write-ups, and more conference calls. all day, every day. i'm cranky, i'm tired, and, most importantly, i'm cold.

so yesterday, come 6pm, i needed saving. forget chicken soup.  i needed couture for the soul...and i didn't even know it.

after watching worthless movies this week like "role models," i wasn't in the mood for stupid 18-35 y.o. male-targeted comedy (the movie, despite what my brother promised, was not funny). i've had "changeling" on my dvr for weeks and, really, the last person i want to stare at for 2 hours right now is angelina (i think the world needs a break from her and brad. seriously.). and there's only so many times i can watch an old "what not to wear" rerun (how are these people so poorly dressed?!). see, i told you i'm cranky. anyway, thank god for netflix instant play. thank god!

i cuddled up in my bed under my soft cable knit blanket, with my mac beside me and started to watch valentino: the last emperor. streams of pale pink, white,and red chiffon. hand-sewn beading and sequins.  all with paris and rome as their backdrop. yes please (said as the wind whips snow against my bedroom window). as mother nature and the 2+ feet of snow attempted to drain my happiness, mr. valentino was able to replenish my mind with beautiful things...beautiful couture things. (bellisimo!) europe lifted my mood (how is that everything seems more sophisticated in europe?) even hearing valentino berate and insult everyone in italian cheered me up (and yes, mr. valentino, i completely agree that an evening gown that shows a woman's ankles as she walks is the most disgusting thing i've seen).

today, the sun is shining. the snow is melting. things are looking up!

..............until the weatherman promised more snow come monday. [sigh]

dopplegang-less

so this week was doppleganger week on facebook. how did this happen? is this just another way for celebrities to make us feel envious? probably so, and it's genius.


one by one, people started to change their profile pics - rachel bilson, anne hathaway, eva longoria, matt damon, etc. all beautiful people. so i thought, i wonder who i look like?! have i ever been compared to anyone? well, let's see in high school i was compared to teri hatcher during her superman days with dean cain. but let's be serious, teri hatcher now - shriveled...old...desperate. yeah, i'm going to say, there's no resemblance.


i turned to google and found myheritage.com. ok, perfect. let's see who i resemble......


1. vanessa marcil...ok, not sure she counts since i only know her from general hospital. and the last time she was on that was when i was in high school. i think we both have a mole and that's it.


2. maria menounos. really? she's a celebrity? 


3. anne hathaway. that's sweet. but i don't have disney eyes...although i did date someone i think may have been a criminal.


4. beyonce. interesting. she's gorgeous. she's a diva. this sounds right.


5. jessica alba. omigosh, thank you. i'm so flattered. really? ok, if you're sure.


6. halle barry. alright, now you're just lying to my face.


not bad, right? i'm liking this. ok let's do another pic. 




annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd...............








7. tommy lee jones.


ok. game over.

i don't think you're ready for this jelly...

getting married is wonderful. going on a three week honeymoon is amazing. gaining weight from said honeymoon, lacks in awesomeness.

so before the wedding i was a workout fiend...wake up, workout, go to the office, come home, workout, go to bed. my very own two-a-days. i was like an "at-heat-stroke-risk" texan high school football player. i was on a strict nutrition plan and somehow i managed to stay consistent without throwing myself in front of oncoming traffic or passing out on a treadmill a la dj tanner (full house reference for those ignorant folks who claim to have never watched that show). the wedding came, my dress fit, i felt amazing, and then i was wisked away to italy and greece for three glorious weeks (my life sounds tragic, i know). our meals resembled episodes of man vs. food, more than they were normal dinners for humans. but who cares, i was honeymooning. i was blissful. my clothes were too big for me anyway.

that came to an end.

i gained about 9 lbs on that trip (all worth it) until i realized i had to workout to get rid of the poundage. now, i was never heavy to start with, although i did put on about 15 pounds in the 3 years i dated my husband. but far from obese, morbidly or otherwise. and for the wedding i dropped that love weight and then some.

so here i was, back to reality and i decided, you know what, i'll sign up for bootcamp. my trainer, who i worked with during the wedding (i'm not some hollywood glamazon who has a full-time trainer), was leading the class and i figured why not. the primary drawback was that it was at 6am twice a week...but twice a week? i could manage.

so, week 1 of bootcamp. i was in class ready to go. the warm up - easy. the first 30 min - cake. god, this is bootcamp? and then came our drills -- races, suicides, weird jumps -- over and over again. i finally realized what it must feel like to be a 400 lb woman on the biggest loser. 5 more minutes and i would have been throwing up in the corner and crying...you know, standard biggest loser workout. (god, they're always crying, aren't they? but then again if jillian michaels was in my face calling me a fatty, i'd be in tears too).

week 2 of bootcamp. we ran stairs. i mean do i need to say more than that? it was as awful as it sounds. maybe i have sports-induced asthma. you know, from all those sports i play. still no vomiting, which is a plus.

week 3 of bootcamp.  we did stations. my least favorite - jump rope. how is it that i can go to spin class for 90 min but 1 min intervals of jump rope are pure torture? and as if i need more reason to hate jump ropes, on my way out of class (i leave early to go to spin immediately afterward bc i'm psychotic), i was whacked in the arm by someone jump-roping.  insult to injury...or perhaps in this case it was injury to insult? who knows? i hate jump ropes.

well, i only (only! ha!) have 5 more weeks of bootcamp to go.  i'll keep you posted on the vomit watch but in the meantime, i've lost 4 lbs. take that italy!

dial m for murder

about a week and a half ago marked a huge dent in my 2010 inner peace. each year, i figure i start with a certain amount of inner peace...a glass half full sort of thing. and throughout the year, small (and large) annoyances deplete the supply. so there i was, jan 2010, ready for the new year, complete with my own set of resolutions (one of which is to be more patient..remember this because it will tie into the story).

on a friday morning, i decide to work from home and am sitting on my couch with my laptop typing away on a report (yes, apparently high school student is my occupation). anyway, my cell phone rings. a quick glance reveals a 702 area code. that's weird. where the hell is 702? oh well, it is probably someone from the office on their cell or something. so i ignore it. ha, kidding. no, i answered it. and it was some guy, who by the way slaughtered my name, asking if i'd be interested in an online degree. "no," i said, "i have no interest.  how did you get this number?" he said, "you uh...filled out some form online." hmmm, descriptive. "no, i didn't fill out any forms online. nice try stupid" (i didn't say the "nice try stupid" but it was implied in my tone). "don't call me," i said and hung up. 1 hour later the phone rings. 704 area code. i answer and same thing. 1 hour later, phone rings, 710 area code. same thing. 1 hour later, phone rings. this time i pick up and just hold down a button hoping to deafen the caller. apparently, it didn't work because they called back...every hour, for the next 8 hours.

during this psychotic telemarketing assualt, i logged onto the national do not call registry and entered my cell phone. all the while, i was running through what i had done that week that could have possibly given these idiots my number and that's when i realized i ordered sweatpants from nike.com! damn it, that's what i get for trying to be comfortable, yet appear athletic and fit. so the rest of the day, when they called, i just told them i was on the national registry and that they were not legally permitted to call me AND they should delete my number. all this started out rather calm. but by call 7 or 8 i think i just screamed that into the phone. although i'm not sure if it was understandable as it mainly sounded like i was making tazmanian devil noises into the phone and then hanging up.

at 5 pm that friday, the calls ended. those telemarketers sure are quick to go home right at 5pm. i got one call on saturday and i thought that was the end of it. i was mistaken.

monday a.m., the calls began again. this time i decided to go back to my calm, rational, patient approach. so the first call, i answered. "hi this jean from....blah blah blah." "why hello jean. can i get your last name?" "um. why?" "well, i just wanted to know whose name to include in my complaint to the national do not call registry. you see jean, you're not supposed to call numbers on the registry. so i thought i'd report you." hang up. that seemed to go well. then i got another call and i just told them i was on the registry and to remove my number. then around 11, i got my final call. and this time, i went crazycakes. that call went a little something like this....
"hi, i'm calling from..."
"I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU'RE CALLING FROM! I'M ON THE DO NOT CALL REGISTRY, WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME! I'VE TOLD YOU IDIOTS TO STOP CALLING ME"
"m'am you need to calm down..."
"SHUT UP. SHUT UP AND YOU LISTEN TO ME. DO NOT F'ING CALL THIS NUMBER AGAIN"
"oh now, we are cussing?"
"YES" click.

i wish you could slam a cell phone. it doesn't have as much effect when i scream and then just hit "end call". that round of crazy ended the barrage of calls. maybe word got out that my number will connect you to a screaming hyena. in any case, it worked. and, it just goes to show you that patience gets you nowhere. ah, i love when i learn these life lessons, don't you?