going to the chapel

after many many months, i'm back. you may be wondering what in the world i was doing. well i was....

getting married!

in the final months leading up to the wedding, i fell off the face of the planet and spiraled my way into wedding planning hell (it's sort of a pergatory. between earth and hell and one stoplight from the wedding). so my days were pretty much consumed with tracking my invitations (apparently my invitation designers decided this was a good time for them to go into hibernation.), getting invitations sent (holding my mom hostage till 1 a.m. to stuff and seal envelopes), finalizing flower arrangements (which in all took approximately 40 full hours of meeting time with the florist), assembling favor boxes (also known as burning my fingers with hot glue and/or gluing my fingers together), and all types of miserable things that no bride ever imagines having to do as a part of the final wedding weeks. it was so lovely...and special.

it was all worth it because in the end, we had one hell of a party.

so yadda yadda, in the name of the father, son, and blogging spirits...i'm back.

basket head/case

ah, remember when you were little and you dreamt of your wedding. a big beautiful white dress, pretty pretty flowers, a handsome groom, and little birds singing and putting the ribbon on your dress...ok, so that was a disney movie. but whatevs. it was enchanted.

here's what people do not tell you.

1. everything gets marked up at the sheer mention of "wedding" -- somewhere between 50-100%. seriously, i should work in this business.
2. your favorite flowers won't be in season on your wedding day...and you'll be told that you're just not getting married the right time of year.
3. wedding dress sizes are designed to make you feel morbidly obese. oh you're a size 6 in real life? well that makes you a size 24 triple extra large. way to go fatty.
4. vendors won't call you back even though you're basically begging them to take your money.
5. oh and you will have nightmares starting about 3-4 months before the big day.

so for the past couple weeks my much needed beauty rest has been rudely interrupted with nightmares. wedding nightmares....and these nightmares are the ones where you feel like you are living it and there's no waking up....not the ones where you know it's a dream and just need to will yourself awake. the positive is that when you do actually wake up and the initial panic (and your bloodpressure) subsides, they are pretty funny and ridiculous. this week, i wanted to share some of my favorite nightmares. yes, i said favorite nightmares.

i'll begin with the one i had last night. i rode a bus (fancy) into dc for my wedding and the entire time was talking so random person about all the details (this doesn't seem so odd as i will talk to anyone who's willing to listen). i get to the hotel only it's not my hotel and all the guests are there. i ask my mom what time it is and she says 2:30pm which means i've missed my ceremony. but upon looking at the clock it's just 9am which only means that i should still be getting ready (and that my mom doesn't know how to tell time). i rush to some basement where i find my bridesmaids...only 3 of them. they inform me that the others had other plans and won't be able to make it. no hair/makeup people have arrived so i'm instantly thinking of who i can call on a 9am on saturday to come to the hotel and get us ready. oh and in looking in the mirror, i realize i forgot to order my veil.....soooooooo, i'm wearing a basket on my head. perfect.

others are along the same lines -- people not showing up, being late, forgetting it was my wedding day. in one of my other favorite nightmares, i am at the church ready to go only my parents haven't arrived. they finally get there. my brother runs in to meet up with the other groomsmen and my mom rushes in. apparently my dad is the only one that didn't get the memo that it's a wedding as he is wearing a button down and khakis. we go into the foyer of the church and people have already started the cocktail hour. so i'm standing there in my wedding dress begging people to go sit down for the ceremony. my dad and i start to walk towards the church doors and i realize i can't see anything. no i'm not blind but my blusher is apparently made of blackout fabric. ok, not quite but i can't see anything. so i pull it off and see my fiance's friends in the back of the church drinking beer and eating hot dogs (this actually might happen on the wedding day). i immediately start grabbing the beers and throwing them out. then! i start to walk down the aisle and there's no groom. no, we get to the alter and i have to wait for my fiance to walk down the aisle.

the last category of nightmares is just having the wedding day arrive and i'm still mid-planning. this means, that i either haven't ordered flowers and am rushing to whole foods to buy flowers for centerpieces and bouquets or i'm still planning and it's the wedding day only i didn't realize it so i've missed the ceremony and i'm asking if people can just come back tomorrow. do over, please.

see, ridiculous right? kind of like those first day of school nightmares...only this time, you're wearing a wedding dress and a basket on your head. how fashion forward. if you see it on the runways next season, just remember you heard it here first.

the b(log) is back.

ok people, i am back! i took a brief hiatus to attend weddings, take care of engagement photos, and go to vegas to celebrate bachelorettehood (and, i realize that's not even a real word). it's all done and i'm back to the things that really matter....blogging!

if the dress fits...

so the wedding is officially five months away.

the save the dates have been sent, the cake has been selected, and we've completed 2 weeks of marriage prep.

some good news first, i did not have to hand address the envelopes for the save the dates (hooray). i successfully figured out how to create labels...well success is a relative term. it's more along the lines of "despite the valiant efforts of MS Word to sabotage me". why is it that i don't have a personal assistant or intern in my life to help me with these things? when do i become THAT successful? sighhhhh. ok, in any case, i'm just so relieved they've been been sent...and even more excited that i have another 100 of them in my house (so, the quantities came in 100, 250, 500 and because i had to mail out over 100 of them, i had to order 250. hence, the 100 save the date roommates with whom i'm currently sharing my place).

next, the cake. we've picked out two yummy flavors and i'm hoping that the coloring turns out. it's kind of disconcerting when the baker says, "we'll try our best to get it that color"...doesn't that kind of alarm anyone else? as in, maybe it'll happen, maybe it won't but in the end it's not our problem, lady. what if i said that at my workplace? "listen, maybe it'll get done, maybe it won't. that's just the risk we're going to have to take." i'll have to try out that line the next time i want to get fired. in any case, i have my fingers crossed that little old woman at the bakery will get it right. let us pray....

ooh, what a great transition to the marriage prep. this is where i have to deliver some bad news. apparently, our group is a "trust tree"...at least that is what my fiance keeps insisting...so i cannot share the awesome stories i have about these classes. but do not fret. i'll write about it in my tell all book in 15-20 years (there has to be some kind of trust tree expiration date, right?) so really stay tuned...

alright alright, let's move on. my dress is here! a month early! so why am i so frightened to pick it up? ok, a couple reasons -- 1) what if it doesn't fit? a few months ago, i made the error of ordering a size down. why is it that there is this pressure to be heidi klum? ok so maybe that's just me but she's gorgeous, right? so yes, i ordered a size down and i have nightmares that even if by some miracle of god (afterall, i have been attending church, i should be in his good graces at this point) i do fit into it, will i be able to sit down in it? imagine this, i get into the dress, look completely slammin', take some photos, and bend down to slide my shoes on (which also arrived this week and are ridiculous. i'm in love) and rrrriiiiip. oh as i write this i get that yucky drop in the pit of my stomach. i will need to be praying harder in church. and walking faster on the treadmill. actually, praying while i'm walking at super speed on the treadmill. ok, reason 2) there is no reason number 2. reason 1 trumps any other reason i could think of. well, all this thinking about exercising is making me hungry. hmmm, when's lunch?

let them eat cake!

hello! it's my first blog (so much pressure). i figured that my first week should start with something about me...as will probably my second, third, fourth blog and so on.

with my wedding coming up in september, there are a few big related things to discuss this week.

first, it's save the date time. they've arrived! hooray. but now comes the task of addressing all of them. hand addressing the engagement party invites was a mistake...not to be repeated. but as i say this, i have a sinking feeling that i will in fact be handwriting those save the date beauties. this is what happens when you still have your college printer from 10 years ago. god, college was 10 years ago? that's depressing.

on a related note, i'd like to go on the record and say that i do not approve of the save the date acronym which is so prominently used in the wedding world ...brace yourself....STD. that is awful isn't it? i'd rather just spell out the whole thing. it's worth it. i'm ashamed i had to even write it (on my first blog, too!) let's pretend it didn't happen.

next up is marriage prep class. for a non-catholic (and someone who really doesn't have a firm religious affiliation), this is a big deal. six weeks of classes. yeah, six weeks. i have to say, i'm a little nervous. i don't know a whole lot and am a little weary of getting into the whole religion thing. i mean, i'm not ready. i don't have all the facts. what if they ask me about jesus? (yes i'm imagining a round robin of jesus questions) what if we have to share our favorite passage or something? i think the hardest part of tonight will be the introductions when i basically have to announce to the group that i'm not catholic...i'm picturing this moment as when everything goes black and there is one spotlight in my face followed by a choir singing something ominous. [gulp] stay tuned.

lastly, i'm excited to say that the part of the planning phase i've looked forward to the most has arrived. cake tasting! (forgive me dress shopping, you were my favorite too). so yes, this weekend, i will be "sampling" sweet treats...which brings to mind a couple questions -- how big are my samples? will they give us cake to take home? why did i order my dress a size smaller? i hope the cake is delicious because let's be honest, that's the best part of a wedding right? i mean aside from the music and drinks and blessed union. ah, let them eat cake!