more than meets the eye....

several months ago, i decided that i would attempt to run. those who know me, know that i hate running. i ran a 10 miler a couple years ago but just to put things in perspective, i only trained to run 5 miles. (yes, i thought i'd just wing the other 5 miles, mainly because i couldn't bring myself to run 10 miles unless i absolutely had to...like during the actual race). needless to say, it was painful and the only reason i was able to finish was because i feared the shame of being picked up by the bus (the "bus" picks us runners who are too slow to finish the race in the time allotted....apparently, they don't keep the streets closed all day for the race. who knew?!) after the race, feeling accomplished and high on endorphins, i remember turning to my friend and asking if she thought i should run the army 10-miler later that fall. without hesitation, she said, "no."

ok, so you have some background....anyway, a few months ago, prior to my hawaii trip, i thought, "i'll give this another go." maybe i was more in shape than i was a few years ago, or maybe there is no truth to "muscle memory" because, running wasn't bad. i started by just adding 1 mile to my daily workouts, then 2, then 3...and then i was doing about 4-5 miles, 5 days a week.  this went on for a while and then i noticed my toenails were looking a little ragged....then i started to feel soreness in my heel....then part of my toenail looked like it was going to commit suicide. so i did what any sane person would do...i got fitted for new running shoes. retail therapy works for everything else, why not for some tired old feet, right?

when the pretty new shoes didn't seem to trick my feet into feeling healthy, i scaled back, mixed up my workouts.  but the pain just got worse. i thought about going to the doctor but decided i'd self-medicate (afterall, i WAS bio pre-med in undergrad....for 3 semesters). when that didn't work, i finally went to the doctor.

my doctor is possibly, the funniest person i've ever met in the medical field. our conversation went a little like this:
doctor: we're going to take a sample of your toenail and test it for fungus.
me: (gasp) are you sure it's not just nail trauma? where would i get fungus?!
doctor: the gym, nail salon....?
me: well, it can't be the gym because i'm never barefoot there. maybe the nail salon?! gross.
doctor: yeah, but you'll probably go back, won't you?
me: probably.
doctor: anyway, let's hope it's fungus. fungus i can treat. so "fingers crossed." [taking the sample] this is the grossest thing i've seen.
me: oh it can't be the grossest.
doctor: i may not be able to eat lunch.
me: well you have a few hours until lunch.
doctor: actually, i might need to take the rest of the afternoon off.

he took the sample and gave me my xray results -- bone spur + plantar faciitis. basically, my heel bone has gone country western as it has decided to grow itself a fancy little spur (extra bone) and my plantar tissue is inflammed (read: angry). the doctor put me in this "orthodic"(aka a bandage that accentuated my arch), and prescribed an anti-inflammatory that i later discovered is commonly dispensed to more senior patients with arthritis. awesome. i spent the next month competing with the older gentlemen at my gym for the recumbent bike (the only cardio exercise my doctor would allow me to do)...and when not at the gym, i think i baked cookies every week. it was a gluttonous month.

this week i went back for my month check-up. this time the conversation went like this:

doctor: how's the pain?
me: not much better. and my bandage smells. let's toss it.
doctor: [tosses the bandage in the trash and misses about 3 times...that must have been embarrassing]. ok, so we'll try something new this time. we're going to do a cortisone shot so first let's send you to the whirlpool.

i go off the whirlpool and dip by feet. had i known i was going to get a pedicure that day, i would have brought my nail polish. back in the exam room, the doctor administers the cortisone shot, during which i cover my eyes and just repeat "oh my god" over and over again. meanwhile the doctor is trying to ask me what my plans are for the weekend and get my mind off the fact that there's been a needle in my foot for the past 10 seconds. i ignore him and just keep repeating "oh my god". it finally ends, he extracts the needle and tells me i did "awesome"...i think we need to baseline our definitions of awesome.

doctor: [peering over at my jcrew sandals] so, let's have an honest conversation about your footwear.
me: you think my shoes are made of plywood?
doctor: most likely.
me: ok, what would you ideally like me to be wearing?
doctor: sneakers.
me: no, i mean what would you like me to be wearing EVERYWHERE.
doctor: sneakers.
me: absolutely not.
[awkward pause]
me: okay okay. truthfully, i wear sneakers to the gym. that's it. and i understand that you would like me to wear my sneakers everywhere but i'd be lying to your face if i said that i would do that. my goal is to avoid surgery but what can we do to give this foot a fighting chance of healing w/o my having to wear sneakers into the office. because sneakers in the office, that won't fly. lots of dirty looks.
doctor: don't you work from home?
me: irrelevant. what about a boot? that way you know i'm not wearing shoes you would not approve of. and i know i'm not rocking a commuter look to work.
doctor: ok, so a boot. that works for me. are you sure?
me: yes, let's do it. a boot can't be that bad.
doctor: ok, i also need you to sleep in this night sling
me: wait, what?

i'll spare you the rest of the convo but it was dramatic. we laughed, we cried, and in the end, i left with two brand new pieces of footwear...

my jimmy choo day boot (they're not jimmy choos but i like to pretend that i wear them with such style that it confuses people)

and my night time transformer boot (let's hope this boot doesn't come to life because i think it could do some damage)

maybe pretty new sneakers couldn't convince my foot to heal but perhaps all it needs is some tough (ugly boot) love. stay tuned....and wish me luck!