trapped in a closet...er, dressing room

may is national shopping month. no? it's not? well regardless, i'm observing it. this past weekend, i was shopping in georgetown and at one of my favorite spots...jcrew. yes, yes, yes, i realize that the last few posts have been about this place so are you really that surprised? exactly. so anyway, i'm at the store in search of another bikini to take on my cabo trip (this weekend! actually in 2 days! i'm going to cabo!!!hooray!)....

...let me digress for one brief moment. why is that that months leading up to this trip, i'm parked at the gym, working out, sweating away. and then, in the weeks leading to the trip, my body decides that it does not want to work out AND instead it wants to consume endless amounts of food. seriously, i've never been so hungry in my life. it's borderline disgusting. basically, i'm going to look amazing in my bikinis. amazingly full.

...ok so back to jcrew. we'd made our rounds at some other stores around town and i decided to drop in to see if i could pick up one last bikini. i grab two and a sales associate asks if i want to start a fitting room. usually, my answer is no because i like to walk around with my items and mix and match with other stuff. so i'm editing along the way and don't want to give it up. but occasionally, like that day, i agree. a little while later, i make my way to the dressing rooms. only the line is insane. why do they only have 4 dressing rooms for women? does that seem very well thought out? so i see the sales associate and i say, "i think you started a room for me." and he responds, "yes,  just wait in line." ok, so what exactly is the point of starting a fitting room that isn't actually started for you? i debated waiting and finally decided against it and let him know...only to change my mind 30 seconds later and get back in line. the sales associate sees me and kindly says, "i'll pull you over to the other dressing rooms." OTHER DRESSING ROOMS? why are these people waiting in line then? oh well, see you suckers!

we head to the men's dressing rooms which are completely empty because men hate trying clothes on. while i'm in there, i hear someone knock and i say that i'm in the room and i hear a click and they move on. with one new bikini successfully found, i get dressed and ready to head to the register....and the next few minutes went something like this:

i pull on the handle and the door won't budge. i try locking and unlocking it again and pull on the handle. nothing. i think, "ok, don't panic. you're stuck in jcrew. this would normally sound awesome. just grab the cell and call your cousin. she's right outside." dial dial dial...ring...CALL FAIL. no signal. seriously? next i tried pounding on the door, which sounds pretty ridiculous, right? i mean it's not like i'm going to be screaming "LET ME OUT" yeah, see, very dumb. but no one responds. i say a little prayer and pull on the handle again. that doesn't work at all. that was a stupid idea. why would i think that would work. i sit on the bench and then i hear footsteps. someone is nearby! i yell, "I'M LOCKED IN" (yes, i actually yelled that. there i am inside the dressing room, yelling for someone to save me). the guy unlocks the door and i go running out. and, i'm totally embarrassed. and irritated (which moron locked me inside the dressing room?)

i head to the register and pay for my bikini. traumatized. scared. but ready for cabo.

maybe next time, i should just wait in line.

i've made it in life!

so this past friday, i had the day off and decided i was due for a shopping spree. yes, a shopping spree...at my same 3 stores: jcrew, anthropologie, and ann taylor. the entire time, i justified my purchases by thinking, i work really hard and if i can't have my dream job, i should at least have a dream wardrobe. granted, a dream
wardrobe would include louboutins and designer clothes but i have to start somewhere, right? and in any case, i love jcrew so who am i kidding? i'd always shop there.

while i was at jcrew, i decided that i'd sign up for a card. (it's hard to believe i don't already have one, right? well actually i did but apparently if you don't use it for 8 years, they close the account.) so when you sign up, you get a gift card for every $500 you spend. i think the gift card is only like $25 but listen, if jcrew wants to give me money, i'll take it. however, when i explained why i signed up for a card to my husband, i decided to explain the gift card as a cost savings. listen, it's math.

anyway, while i was checking out, i started chatting it up with the sales associate and somehow the conversation got into a personal shopper. next thing i know, i have a personal shopper! i know. omg, i have a personal shopper. i've finally made it in life! in that moment, i decided, if i don't have a dream job, then i should at least make the most of being able to afford shopping and having a personal shopper!(note: the personal shopper is totally free so really, i haven't made it that far in life.)

(total sidenote: i was really disappointed that i didn't win the $226m megamillions lottery last week. i really thought that i had a shot. i mean who needs that $226m more than me? oh well. sigh.)

anyway, i met my personal shopper (anthony...yeah, it's a boy) the first thing he said to me was, "oh, i recognize you." hmmm, maybe i'm there too often? i can't wait for him to email me and put clothes aside for me.  i also can't wait to be totally broke (except of course, for all that "cost savings" from my jcrew gift cards).

i will keep you posted on the treasures he finds for me (hopefully they'll be on sale!)...