don't mind me. i'm just alkalizing.

back in december, when i was making (eating) holiday cookies around the clock, i thought about doing a cleanse to help my body start anew. i researched it, selected the blueprint cleanse, and then waited 3 more months before i did anything about it. here's how it all went down....

pre-cleanse. yes, you have to prep for your cleanse. for 3 days actually. no big, final meal before you juice. say goodbye to your coffee (sad face). adios, processed foods (and good riddance. except for your, candy. i will always love you). pre-cleanse, you start your day with some lukewarm water (i heated mine) and lemon. rev up your system. then it's fruits, salads, and more veggies. 3 days prior you can have some fish. 2 days prior it's just fruits and veggies (and if you get desperate they allow you to have some brown rice). the day before it's just fruits and veggies. and then, it's cleanse time (cue the trumpets)!

cleanse. 2 days of nothing but juice. here we go.

• day 1.  day 1 was all rainbows, butterflies, and cleansing. i woke up and the first juice was the dreaded green juice -- kale, apple, ginger, romaine, spinach, cucumber, celery, parsley, and lemon.  this juice was very very "parsley." that's the only way i can describe it. it had a hint of the sweet apple but it was for a brief moment and then it was just parsley. but i drank it with a smile and thought it wasn't bad. i could juice all day long (which i really didn't have a choice but to do anyway).  i continued to drink every 2 hours. next up, pineapple, apple, mint (the mojito of juices. amazing). back to the green juice, followed by spicy lemonade (master cleanse in disguise), more green juice, and one cashew milk 2 hours before bed. i was excited for the cashew milk - cashew, agave, cinnamon, vanilla. and for the first half it tasted like a shake. but then it was cashew chunks. i suffered through it, went to bed and knew i'd have to wake up and do it all over again. on the bright side, my stomach was now concave and i basically looked like a model. clearly, delirium had kicked in.
  

  

  dreaded green juice. 

  
  

  

  beyonce juice (aka master cleanse)

• day 2.  day 2 was about survival. i was less excited and moreso just hungry. aside from the pineapple, apple, and mint juice, which i was actually looking forward to, my mindset was to just get through the day. while physically i felt lighter and just better (i looked like a model, remember?), emotionally i was a smidge cranky. i don't think it helped that the hubs was eating a big bowl of pasta while i was downing my green juice (imagine me flashing fangs).

P.A.M (aka the mojito of juicing)

post cleanse. i made it through my weekend of cleansing but wait! it wasn't over yet. now you must break the cleanse. similar to the pre-cleanse, it was salads, and fruits. day 1 post cleanse -- just fruits and salads (but limited to lettuce, cucumber, and avocado). so i downed some watermelon, had my salad, and praised the lord that i could chew my meals again. day 2 - fruits and salads. still looked amazing and now less cranky. day 3 - fruit, salads, fish. the juice haze had cleared....so had the hunger and crankiness.

final verdict, you ask? i'd do it again (jaw drop. loud gasp). no more than 2 days of juicing as i'd fear for my loved ones and anyone in the general vicinity. but 2 days, i could do. as long as they're on a weekend (so as to limit my interaction with others)....and maybe minus the hubs eating nothing but carbs around me.

see you again in 3 months, blueprint cleanse!