1 whole year! we made it.

In honor of our one-year wedding anniversary, my husband and I planned a trip to Napa. 

where the magic begins

We flew out early Thursday morning…really early. As in I woke up at 4am. Gross.

Our first stop was Atlanta. It’s a quick flight that makes you believe that this whole trip is going to be quick. But it’s a lie. Because once you’re in Atlanta, you realize you still have to fly 4 more hours to actually get to your destination. Atlanta was just a 2-hour side trip to a place you never wanted to go to anyway.  My husband being self-sacrificing, let’s me have the window seat and graciously takes the middle seat, next to a bowling ball. Meanwhile, I sleep comfortably. Well as comfortably as you can sleep on the plane.  How comfortable is waking up every 15 minutes, really?

We land in San Francisco, pick up our rental and drive out to Napa Valley. We arrive at our hotel, AVIA, a modern hotel within walking distance to restaurants and shops.  Being the classic Danny Tanner, I ask that we plan out our days.

The first day, we head to a group wine tour. The limo picks us up and we meet the other couples. It was like wine prom! We were fortunate enough to have a great group of young couples…and the quiet Asian woman with her dad.  It was interesting. I’m sure she appreciated that I pointed out how my underdog college beat her college football team last week.  Ah, making friends wherever I go.

The funny thing about wine tours is that you start off very proper and appropriate and then you find yourself asking about the wine gloves the tour guide referred to (for the record, he said, “wine club” but you could have sworn he said “wine gloves” and now you want to know what those are and where you can find them!)

delicious delicious wine

The next day was our designated driver tour. Basically, a driver comes to your hotel and drives you to vineyards in your rental car. It’s awesome. We drove to smaller boutique vineyards that essentially treated you like VIP.  This is the life! Again, you start off the day demure and sweet and by the end; you’re asking the vineyard owner if you could have a diet coke from their private fridge. By the way, they say yes, you’re VIP afterall (or they just hope that you’ll take the diet coke and be on your way).

By day three, drinking wine was a chore. “Yeah, your cabernet sauvignon is great. But, I’ve had better. Or at least I think I have.  Seriously, do you have a diet coke?“

The night of our actual anniversary, we had reservations at Micheal Chirello’s Bottegga. 

little did we know what awaited us

We saved ourselves all day so when we arrived we forewarned our server. “We are going to order an obscene amount of food.” She giggles. Silly.  No, seriously, it was obscene (I’ve numbered the list to illustrate the insanity):

1.  We order the calamari. The calamari is served with a squid ink aioli. Forget that I hate mayo, this is incredible.
2. But what’s dinner at an Italian restaurant w/o caprese salad? The caprese salad is served with balsamic caviar.  I know, what is that, right? Well it’s balsamic vinegar that they add a tiny bit of gelatin to and then drop out into tiny little gems. Delicious.
3. Then our next order arrives – polenta in jar that’s served with crispy mushrooms and parm.  It was basically as though mashed potatoes had a love affair with macaroni and cheese and bred this creamy delicious goodness.
4.  The next dish was the proscuittio with little parm donuts that you dip into a chilled melon soup. This I didn’t eat but my husband did. (At this point the couple next to us is looking at us in horror. They’re thinking “how are these Americans eating so much food? They are disgusting.” We look at them, recognize their horror and just tell them, we’re still waiting on our entrée.  But truthfully, at this point, we ourselves are disgusted too. It’s like we were living our own episode of Man vs. [Gourmet] Food. It was torture.)
5. So our entrees arrive (I ordered the angry prawns and I can’t even remember what my husband ordered. I think it was lamb or pork. At this point my vision was blurred and my memory was waning). We are doing everything we can to not get sick at the actual table.  I look at my husband to see his eyes are tearing and he actually might vomit…at the table. But I can tell he’s fighting hard. We play with our food and take a few bites. TORTURE. And the server takes away our plates.
6.  But wait! My husband had decided at the beginning of the meal to surprise me with dessert (chocolate hazelnut soufflé). He’s so sweet but we are really going to die at this table. Even the server recognizes the fear at the thought of more food. As she places the chocolate soufflé on our table, she looks at me and says “I’m really sorry.” We take a bite and then just pray for the check.

happy anniversary!

Moral of that story, just plan a follow-up trip  to Bottega and eat comfortably.

Our 5 days in Napa were incredible and delicious. The weather was lovely, the people were sweet and the wine was poetry (I read that on a sign). Next time, we should stay for a month!