about a week and a half ago marked a huge dent in my 2010 inner peace. each year, i figure i start with a certain amount of inner peace...a glass half full sort of thing. and throughout the year, small (and large) annoyances deplete the supply. so there i was, jan 2010, ready for the new year, complete with my own set of resolutions (one of which is to be more patient..remember this because it will tie into the story).
on a friday morning, i decide to work from home and am sitting on my couch with my laptop typing away on a report (yes, apparently high school student is my occupation). anyway, my cell phone rings. a quick glance reveals a 702 area code. that's weird. where the hell is 702? oh well, it is probably someone from the office on their cell or something. so i ignore it. ha, kidding. no, i answered it. and it was some guy, who by the way slaughtered my name, asking if i'd be interested in an online degree. "no," i said, "i have no interest. how did you get this number?" he said, "you uh...filled out some form online." hmmm, descriptive. "no, i didn't fill out any forms online. nice try stupid" (i didn't say the "nice try stupid" but it was implied in my tone). "don't call me," i said and hung up. 1 hour later the phone rings. 704 area code. i answer and same thing. 1 hour later, phone rings, 710 area code. same thing. 1 hour later, phone rings. this time i pick up and just hold down a button hoping to deafen the caller. apparently, it didn't work because they called back...every hour, for the next 8 hours.
during this psychotic telemarketing assualt, i logged onto the national do not call registry and entered my cell phone. all the while, i was running through what i had done that week that could have possibly given these idiots my number and that's when i realized i ordered sweatpants from nike.com! damn it, that's what i get for trying to be comfortable, yet appear athletic and fit. so the rest of the day, when they called, i just told them i was on the national registry and that they were not legally permitted to call me AND they should delete my number. all this started out rather calm. but by call 7 or 8 i think i just screamed that into the phone. although i'm not sure if it was understandable as it mainly sounded like i was making tazmanian devil noises into the phone and then hanging up.
at 5 pm that friday, the calls ended. those telemarketers sure are quick to go home right at 5pm. i got one call on saturday and i thought that was the end of it. i was mistaken.
monday a.m., the calls began again. this time i decided to go back to my calm, rational, patient approach. so the first call, i answered. "hi this jean from....blah blah blah." "why hello jean. can i get your last name?" "um. why?" "well, i just wanted to know whose name to include in my complaint to the national do not call registry. you see jean, you're not supposed to call numbers on the registry. so i thought i'd report you." hang up. that seemed to go well. then i got another call and i just told them i was on the registry and to remove my number. then around 11, i got my final call. and this time, i went crazycakes. that call went a little something like this....
"hi, i'm calling from..."
"I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU'RE CALLING FROM! I'M ON THE DO NOT CALL REGISTRY, WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME! I'VE TOLD YOU IDIOTS TO STOP CALLING ME"
"m'am you need to calm down..."
"SHUT UP. SHUT UP AND YOU LISTEN TO ME. DO NOT F'ING CALL THIS NUMBER AGAIN"
"oh now, we are cussing?"
"YES" click.
i wish you could slam a cell phone. it doesn't have as much effect when i scream and then just hit "end call". that round of crazy ended the barrage of calls. maybe word got out that my number will connect you to a screaming hyena. in any case, it worked. and, it just goes to show you that patience gets you nowhere. ah, i love when i learn these life lessons, don't you?
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