about one month ago, i received a card from someone i've never met. upon opening it, i discovered an actual handwritten note to welcome me to the neighborhood (nevermind that this person doesn't actually live in my neighborhood) and in the card was a business card. a mary kay business card.
i thought nothing of it until 2 weeks ago when i received a phone call....to my house phone (how did she get my number?)...from this same woman asking if i wanted to schedule a time for her to come by. luckily, my little nugget cried that very instant (clearly my baby can sense when i need him) and i had to run. well, she called back (lucky me) and being tired and, therefore confused, i somehow agreed to let her swing by.
i've never purchased or even used a mary kay product. this is because i associate it with old women. very, very old women. wait a minute. why was she calling me?
our blessed appointment day arrived and upon entering the house, she insisted on making small talk...mainly asking how big my baby was, the details of childbirth, and other horrifying and inappropriate topics (i'll spare you). as though i did not already regret agreeing to this appointment, now i was being assaulted with her awkward barrage of questions.
she set her timer on her iphone (apparently they are kind enough to only take 15 minutes of your time or maybe it was that i was only lucky enough to have 15 minutes. who knows?) anyway, she conducted a brief demo of scrubbing lotions and moisturizers for my hands. i don't think i've ever spent so much time caring for my hands. poor, neglected hands. i never realized they needed that much attention.
shortly before my 15 minutes expired, she left me with a sample, a coupon, and a catalog of all the other mary kay products i would probably not purchase. and by "probably not," i mean definitely not (although, to her credit, my hands have never been softer). before leaving, she let me know that she would call me next week to follow up. how can i tell her i'm too young for mary kay products? isn't it obvious that i'm so young and vibrant? i mean look at me....wait, maybe i should brush my hair first.
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